Alright, let’s talk about this Porthaven Healthcare Center, you know, the place where folks go when they can’t take care of themselves no more. It’s in Portland, Oregon, that big city, not like our little town.
Now, they say it’s a nursing home. Nursing home, that’s what city folks call it. We just say old folks’ home, plain and simple. They got all sorts of people there, old and sick, needing help with everything. Can’t dress themselves, can’t feed themselves, can’t even go to the bathroom by themselves, poor things.
This place, Porthaven, they say it’s pretty good. Got a 4.0 outta 5 rating, whatever that means. Seems like a high number, so I guess that’s good. They say the people working there, the nurses and such, they’re alright. But you know how it is, some are nice, some are grumpy. Just like everywhere else, I reckon.
- They got folks working there all day and all night, 24/7, they call it. That’s good, means someone’s always around if you need something.
- And they help you with everything, like I said, dressing, eating, going to the bathroom. They call it “personalized healthcare services” and “functional support.” Fancy words for taking care of folks who can’t take care of themselves.
- The place itself, they say it’s real nice, “state-of-the-art” they call it. Got private rooms and rooms you share with someone else. Private rooms are better, I bet. Nobody wants to listen to someone snoring all night.
I heard they got doctors and nurses there all the time, checking on folks, giving them medicine. Medicine, medicine, always with the medicine. Sometimes I think they give you too much medicine, just to keep you quiet. But I guess they know what they’re doing, most of the time anyway.
They also got all sorts of activities, they say. Bingo, they play bingo a lot. And they got exercises, to keep folks moving, I guess. Can’t just sit around all day, that’s no good for you. They probably have some sing-alongs too, old folks love singing those old songs. Makes them feel young again, for a little while anyway.
And the food, I wonder what kind of food they got. Probably not like my cooking, that’s for sure. City food, probably all fancy and tasteless. I hope they got good mashed potatoes, at least. Old folks need their mashed potatoes. And pudding, soft and easy to eat.
Healthcare is important, you know. Especially when you get old. Can’t do nothing for yourself, you need someone to help you. It ain’t cheap, though, that’s for sure. Costs a fortune to stay in one of these places. But what else you gonna do? Can’t just leave folks to fend for themselves. That ain’t right.
They also got “health inspection results.” Sounds scary, doesn’t it? Like the government comes in and checks if they’re doing things right. Checking if the place is clean, if they’re giving folks the right medicine, if they’re treating them right. That’s good, I guess. Someone needs to keep an eye on these places.
Porthaven, Porthaven… sounds like a nice enough place, I guess. As nice as an old folks’ home can be, anyway. It’s not home, that’s for sure. But sometimes, it’s the best you can do. When you can’t take care of yourself no more, you need someone to take care of you. And that’s what they do at Porthaven, or so they say.
So, if you’re looking for a place in Portland, Oregon, for your old ma or pa, or maybe even for yourself someday, you might want to check out this Porthaven Healthcare Center. Just remember what I said, it ain’t home, but it might be the next best thing.
They updated their information last on 2/1/2024, they say. Not too long ago. So, the info is probably pretty good. But you know how it is, things change. Always changing. So, go see for yourself, if you can. That’s the best way to know for sure.
Tags: Porthaven Healthcare Center, Nursing Home, Portland Oregon, Elderly Care, Healthcare Services, Senior Living, Assisted Living, Medical Care, Functional Support, Health Inspection
