Well, let me tell you somethin’ about this good indoor tanning lotions thing. My old bones ain’t what they used to be, but I still like to have a little color, you know? Don’t want to look like a ghost. These days, I can’t be out in the sun like I used to. Too darn hot, and the doctor says it ain’t good for me no more. So, I heard about these indoor tanning places, and they got these lotions that help you get tan.
They say these lotions, they’re good for your skin. I don’t know about all that, but they sure do make you tan faster. I seen some folks go in there lookin’ pale as a sheet, and come out lookin’ like they been workin’ in the field all day. It’s somethin’, I tell ya.
So, I went down to that tanning place, and they had all these bottles lined up. More bottles than you can shake a stick at. I asked the girl there, “Which one’s the best?” She just gave me a look. Then she started talkin’ ’bout all kinds of stuff, I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
But one thing I did understand, she said, “You gotta use lotions to tan quicker.” And that makes sense, right? You put lotion on, you get tan faster. Just like puttin’ butter on bread, makes it toast up quicker in the pan.
- First, you gotta scrub your skin real good. They call it “ex-fo-li-ate.” Sounds fancy, but it just means scrubbin’ off the dead skin.
- Then, you start slow with the tanning. Just a few minutes at first. Don’t want to burn yourself like a piece of toast.
- You gotta use these special lotions. They make you tan faster and darker, they say.
- Some of these lotions got this stuff called “bronzer.” Makes you look even darker.
- And they got these little drinks, “tan shots,” they call ’em. Supposed to help you tan from the inside. I tried one. Tasted like dirt.
I picked out a bottle that smelled like coconuts. Figured if I’m gonna be tan, I might as well smell good too. It was called “Coconut Kisses” or somethin’ like that. Big bottle, too. 13.5 oz! That’s a lot of lotion. This one, I think they said it was an “accelerator.” Means it makes you tan fast, I reckon. Good for any skin, too, they said.
They got lotions for everythin’, it seems. They even got one for just a light tan. Called “Jergens Natural Glow.” Sounds like somethin’ you’d put on your furniture. But it works! I saw a lady use it, and she got a nice, gentle tan. Not too dark, just a little color. Good for folks who don’t want to look like they been baked in the sun.
Now, I ain’t no expert on these indoor tanning lotions, but I’ve learned a few things. First off, you gotta pick the right one for you. If you want a dark tan, you get one of them dark tanning lotions. If you just want a little color, you get a light one. And if you want to smell like a coconut, you get that Coconut Kisses one. I did use it. Smells good. And I did get tan.
Another thing I learned is that you gotta be careful with this indoor tanning. Don’t want to overdo it. Too much of anythin’ ain’t good for you. Start slow, use the lotion, and listen to what them tanning folks tell ya. They know what they’re doin’. Most of the time.
And don’t forget to cover your eyes. They give you these little goggles to wear. You don’t want to damage your eyes starin’ at them bright lights. Them lights is powerful.
So, if you’re thinkin’ about doin’ some indoor tanning, remember what I told ya. Get yourself some of that good indoor tanning lotion. It’ll help you get that tan you want without havin’ to bake in the sun all day. And pick one that smells good, too. No need to smell like burnt skin, right?
These best indoor tanning lotions, they’re a real lifesaver, I tell ya. They help you get that color you want, even if you can’t be out in the sun like you used to. Just remember to be careful, and don’t overdo it. And if you see a bottle that smells like coconuts, that’s probably the one I got. It’s a good one.
Well, that’s all I got to say about that. Just my two cents on this whole indoor tanning thing. Hope it helps ya some. I reckon if you follow these tips, you’ll be lookin’ like a bronze goddess in no time. Or a bronze god, if you’re a fella. Either way, you’ll have a nice tan. And that’s somethin’, ain’t it? If you wanna find a good indoor tanning lotion, just keep your eyes peeled and your nose open. You’ll find one.
